Chatting and wanking over cam chat
But I did do it, more and more often and it stopped revolting me and began to genuinely appeal rather than just be a novelty. She's no GILF like, say, Joan Collins just a plain old granny - a bit stooped, a little shorter than she used to be and of slight build, quite frail from arthritis, with swollen ankles lots of the time, shortish grey hair and of course wrinkles.
Despite her slight frame she still has pert-looking boobs of some size although this is only apparent from the side because she still dresses conservatively, still never trousers and still not a drop of make-up.
I used to do similar things to other, more remote relatives (my gran, aunts, cousins) as an adolescent and have done it since to my mother in law's stuff - it just works for me, sorry if it's creepy.
That said I do quite fancy much older women (70's, even 80's - for instance I'd definitely fuck my mother in law although she's a bit more presentable) but not my Mum - she's simply not attractive in that way.
If I had to make a comparison I'd say Mum is quite like Grandma Walton (Google her pic if you're too young to remember The Waltons TV program), not facially but in build and overall appearance including a prudish dress sense (albeit not 1920's hillbilly! I guess the turn-on was the taboo aspect - not just a pensioner but my own mother and here I was regularly emptying my balls about her.
I'm just trying to be honest (as I say, more exciting that way) and admit the possibility it could be some subliminal neurosis of mine rather than just the fact I'm a dirty bastard.
Anyway, in the months after Dad died I even found myself occasionally talking with her in all sorts of very mildly flirtatious ways - how I'd found her attractive when I was going through puberty (an utter lie as you now know) and how I'd then (as a child) tried to spy on her naked (I hadn't - well, I did try just once and failed - to my subsequent relief at the time! " -she did know what I meant, as I've said, we can talk like that).
She was and is a genuinely nice, kind, loving, shy, modest woman - almost completely selfless in her behaviour, I know nobody even close to her kindness.